I think my nephew may have special needs as he exhibits behaviours that are unusual. But I am not an expert on such matters so I can’t be certain. My sister and brother-in-law are stressed out trying to ensure their child is obedient and behaves appropriately. Should I mention my suspicions to them so that they can consider getting him assessed since early intervention is important? I just don’t know whether they will take to it kindly.
Ai Jin says
Dear Bibi,
It’s a dilemma indeed: You think your hunches may be helpful information to your sister and brother-in-law. However, you could be too presumptuous, and may cross a line which may hurt your relationship with them.
As you mentioned that you are not “an expert on such matters”, you seem to recognise that you do need to gather more information and gain more confidence in your understanding of the matter. Why not do that first? Consider also that your sister and brother-in-law, as parents would have an intimate and holistic knowledge about their son than you do. You also want to defer to them that in their role and responsibility as parents, they reserve reasons what they are doing is what they think is best for their son.
That said, the considerations whether your sister will take to it kindly, I believe, depends on the closeness of your relationship with her, as well as how you put the content across. Consider the choice of words, how you can be specific, objective, and with clear reasons. If you do share with your sister, just know that it does not need to be weighty. It can be tentative and offered as a suggestion, spoken with respect and love.
