A friend has a daughter who is lesbian and has a live-in partner … in my friend’s home. My friend is Christian but her daughter is not. My question is not about my friend’s or her daughter’s choices, but mine, as a parent. Should we bring along my primary-school aged daughter to visit her during Christmas and Chinese New Year, as we used to do? Part of me does not want to expose my daughter to a non-Christian model of family, but yet, to shield her from it seems futile.
Sue-Lynn says
Dear Awkward,
Being a Christian parent in this day and age can indeed be difficult. It would be good to bring your daughter for the visit, as she may or may not have some ideas of the Christian view about LGBTQ people and this is an opportunity to clarify and hopefully deepen her Christian convictions. This means firstly discussing how God’s good, original design for marriage is between a man and a woman only. Same sex attraction is one of the ways sexual brokenness manifests in a fallen world distorted by sin, as stated in the Methodist Social Principles (for more information, see https://www.methodist.org.sg/resources/social-principles/).
Explain how non-Christians may have different standards for women and men in marriage, or before that when dating/in courtship. For example, some non-Christian women may develop same-sex attraction, then partner and live together with another woman. Answer any questions your daughter may have in a thoughtful, and age-appropriate manner, grounded by your Christian convictions and God’s word.
Next, explain how, as Christians, we are called to love one another as God has loved us (John 13:34, 15:12) and to do all things in love (1 Corinthians 16:14). This means showing and extending love to all, not just fellow Christians. Thus, going ahead with the visit, even though as Christians you do not have the same convictions about marriage and dating, is important. This duality of being able to show Christ’s love to all, while not agreeing with the fundamentals behind another’s gender identity, expression or sexual orientation, would be a continuing conversation for you and your daughter, especially as she grows older and becomes more exposed to other ways of living.
