My friend (a Catholic) divorced her husband because he had lied to her regarding a loan shark. For more than four years, she faced a horrible life in debt. She managed to help him and save him from the debt, but she couldn’t forgive his behaviour and was traumatised by the experience. Now, after years of trauma and trust issues, she is interested in a Methodist guy and wants to remarry. Will this be allowed in Methodist churches?
Li Ping says
Dear Chris,
The short answer is: it depends. There is no uniform position on divorce and remarriage among Methodist ministers in Singapore; each holds to a position in accordance with their conscience and biblical interpretation of key biblical texts. The key areas of contention are: (1) whether divorce is allowable, (2) on what grounds, and (3) if remarriage is allowable.
In your friend’s case, the minister will have to decide firstly, that her divorce was legitimate. While some texts at face value seem to teach that divorce is never permissible (Mark 10:1-11; Luke 16:18), others (Matthew 5:32; Matthew 19:9) permit divorce if there is a legitimate reason, i.e. sexual immorality.
Further, some ministers recognise reasons other than sexual immorality due to Exodus 21:10-11, which indicates that the neglect of food, clothing and marital rights (i.e. basic necessities in marriage) are legitimate causes for divorce. Abuse, whether physical, emotional or mental, would be an extreme form of neglect. Your friend’s case of facing financial hardship and trauma due to her ex-husband’s loan shark activities could plausibly be seen as falling in this category. That said, while permitted, divorce is never compulsory, as marriage is ideally for life (Matthew 19:8). Forgiveness and reconciliation should be pursued, where possible.
Some ministers may allow for divorce, but not remarriage, based on texts (Romans 7:3; 1 Corinthians 7:39) that seem to teach that only death releases one from the marriage covenant. However, others see that if a divorce is legitimate, then logically, remarriage should be legitimate and permissible as well.
Finally, many ministers (even if they deem the prior divorce as legitimate and remarriage as permissible) will want to assess—through pre-marital counselling—if your friend (and her partner) are truly ready to be married, before agreeing to let them do so.
