My husband and I have been married for seven years and we have two children. Recently, I found out that he has been giving a female colleague a ride to work frequently. I found this out by accident when I saw a message coming into his phone which was left on the table, confirming pick-up time. When I asked my husband about it, he said this colleague lives along the way to the office and her husband was unable to send her to work on some days. He claimed that he picked her up only occasionally and he was just being helpful. I do not feel comfortable with this arrangement and told him so. Instead of respecting my wishes, he accused me of being controlling and insecure. I also found out that after a business trip they would share a taxi back together as our homes are close. While this sounds convenient, I am not comfortable with the thought. What should I do? Am I being difficult? ~ Concerned
Dating & Marriage
If a spouse agrees to divorce, would it mean he doesn’t believe that God can heal the marriage?
From what I understand, divorce is permissible if one party commits adultery and wants to divorce their legal spouse. If the spouse agrees to the divorce, would it mean he/she does not believe that God can heal the marriage? On the other hand, if the spouse does not agree to the divorce, is he/she being stubborn and overly optimistic? In what circumstances would God not want the spouse to divorce the party who continues to commit adultery? ~ Wondering
My wife does not want more children, but I do
My wife and I have a three-year-old son. I was hoping to have another child so that my son may have a companion and someone to share his burdens with, especially when we are in our old age. However, my wife is not keen on it due to various reasons. I am concerned that by the time she might be ready to have a second child, it would be too late as we are both in our late 30s. What should I do in this situation? How should I adjust my thinking to accept that we would only have one child? ~ Concerned Dad
Should I continue dating a narcissist?
I’m in my 30s and currently seeing a guy in his late 40s. I really enjoy his company and he is wonderful in many aspects. However, he displays some narcissistic traits and has inflated his credentials and background. He lied about his age and had two previous marriages which he did not disclose. I get the sense that he might be insecure and may have been hurt by his previous relationships. Should I continue seeing him? How can I encourage him to be truthful? Can I truly love someone who is broken and a narcissist?
My wife says she is “okay” but doesn’t want to talk about masturbation
I read the question and answer on masturbation in At The Well, MM Feb 2024. My wife has medical issues, therefore she’s okay with it. I do only think of her in this. But we’ve talked about it, and she wants me to leave her alone about it. Help.
Can a divorcee remarry in a Methodist church?
My friend (a Catholic) divorced her husband because he had lied to her regarding a loan shark. For more than four years, she faced a horrible life in debt. She managed to help him and save him from the debt, but she couldn’t forgive his behaviour and was traumatised by the experience. Now, after years of trauma and trust issues, she is interested in a Methodist guy and wants to remarry. Will this be allowed in Methodist churches?
My wife is discouraged by our lack of success with IVF
My wife and I have been trying to have a child for several years. We have tried IVF but so far have not been successful. The whole process has not only been costly, but also emotionally draining and stressful for our relationship.
Dating a non-Christian
I’ve dated a few Christians in the past, but things did not work out due to various reasons such as not being financially stable and having cultural differences. Recently, I started dating a Thai lady. She is not of the same faith. I understand that as a Christian, we should not be unequally yoked. If both parties are serious and committed to work things out, should I continue dating her? I know there will be many obstacles ahead, such as my parents, who I think will object to a daughter-in-law of a different faith and nationality.
Should I stay and care for my ex-husband, who has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s?
After a 22-year long marriage, I finally filed for divorce. I struggled with this decision for almost a decade. He was emotionally distant and generally a traditional, chauvinistic family man. We function like housemates who happen to share two children. A few months after the uncontested divorce was finalised by the courts, he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. He is only 49 years old. I am at a loss for what to do—if I leave him, the caregiving burden will likely fall on the children, who will resent their mother for divorcing their father. If I stay, I will be resentful every day. What can I do now? The children are still unaware of the divorce and their father’s illness.
My wife has a hoarding habit
My wife has a habit of shopping and accumulating things. Our home has become so cluttered that when guests come, they have nowhere to sit because there are things everywhere and I must physically shift items to make space. I am too embarrassed to invite family or friends over. I have spoken to her many times to change her habit of online shopping and buying things even though the items she buys are educational such as books or good toys for my young children. We are financially very comfortable so there is nothing to curb her shopping habit. We have given some items away but she then acquires other things and we are back to square one. Is a hoarding habit something serious or is it just a personality thing? I do not want to pick a fight with her because she is overall a good mother and wife and God-fearing.